I recently asked members in the Transforming Future You Facebook group what they would tell their teenage self if they could go back in time. Most of the answers had some form of, “stop caring what others think of you.”
Nearly every limitation we put on ourselves comes back to some sort of fear of judgement.
And it’s not surprising. When we’re born we don’t care. But throughout our development we’re taught to change our behaviour to avoid judgement from other people, from Santa, from whichever God our parents happen to worship. And the consequences are severe.
Receiving a lump of goal and being on a naughty list, eternal damnation, and worst of all, disapproval from our community.
No wonder we worry about what others think of us!
So when it comes to your business, should you care about others judging you?
I think even when people say that they don’t care what others think, we all care to some degree. It’s just a normal part of being human. And so is judging!
We all judge and you will always be judged so you may as well do what you want to do. Here’s some tips for dealing with judgement from others:
1. If you respond, approach the other person from a place of empathy. Whatever judgement someone else is holding against you comes from their belief system, which comes from their experiences. If they’re judging you harshly, they might have had a painful experience causing them to lash out this way. Being empathetic and understanding towards someone can really disarm them.
2. Remember that being judged doesn’t mean you have to change anything about yourself or what you’re doing. For example, someone says that you are too expensive. What they mean is that your prices are too expensive for them, based on their own beliefs around money. This has nothing to do with you and your pricing.
3. If you feel like you’re being judged, prioritise your inner peace. Is it worth confrontation just to prove that you’re right? The importance of being right might vary depending on the situation but in most cases, if you zoom out, is it really worth giving up your inner peace just to prove a point?
4. Remember that we are all judgy creatures. It’s a bit of a paradox but when someone judges you, you’re judging them in return. Judgement is built into us as a survival mechanism and it’s completely normal. It’s our actions and what we do with our judgements that counts. Ask yourself if you’re judging this person back, and circle back to empathy.
Understanding both the judgement of others and our own judgements is what can help us feel truly free to express ourselves and send our message out to the world.`
If you enjoyed this chat today, make sure you get on the wait list for my new transformational program which starts in January, Business Class Mind. In this program we’re going to upgrade our mindset to six figure thinking.